Settlement letter, please critique

[brighteyes1977]

My Name
My address
My Phone number
American Express
Risk Management
P.O. Box 981540, El Paso, TX 79998-1540
November 9, 2009

Dear Madhushree Goenka,
Re: Account Number: XXXXX.......
This letter is to send you a proposal regarding settlement of my debt in full. I have tried to contact American Express numerous times via telephone to deal/settle my debt, but no one can help me. I feel that United Recovery Systems, Inc. will not handle this in a professional manner and since the debt is still owned by American Express, that is who I will be sending the check to. There is no law that says a collection agency is a legal representative of you, empowered with all the rights and privileges of the contractual agreement between you and me. Thus ‘talking’ with URS, would get us nowhere, since they don’t have the legal authority to commit you, AMEX, to any settlement or payment plan.
I have been through some very difficult times with my personal finances this year and as a result, I haven't able to make payments on my debts. However, I am now in a favorable position to take care of my debt whose account number is given above. I really appreciate in advance your willingness to help me resolve this issue.
The amount that I propose to pay in order to settle the debt is full is $587.64. I shall also request you to remove any negative entries on the account from my credit report.
Currently, I am negotiating with a number of creditors and have even reached mutual agreement for settlement on a couple of debts. Unfortunately, I have less money available to pay all my creditors. Thus, I will most likely be able to pay those creditors who are willing to meet my terms.
I doubt whether or not I'll have enough funds remaining by the end of this month. However, I am willing to offer some more money to those creditors who would try to remove negative listing on this account from my credit report.
If you find my terms and conditions acceptable, please sign this attached letter and return a copy to me. Once I receive the copy signed and acknowledged by you, I shall send you a money order in the amount as stated above.

Yours truly,
Me

THEN HERE IS THE ATTACHED LETTER.

My Name
My address
My Phone number
American Express
Risk Management
P.O. Box 981540, El Paso, TX 79998-1540
November 9, 2009

Dear Madhushree Goenka,
Re: Account Number: xxxx.......

American Express, Madhushree Goenka, the creditor’s representative and ME, the Debtor agree to negotiate and settle the debt under the following terms and conditions.
The Creditor and Debtor agree that the current outstanding debt is $5876.37. Both parties agree that the Creditor will accept a cash payment of $587.64 towards settlement of the debt in full. The Creditor agrees to compromise the debt under the condition that he'll receive the payment by November 31st, 2009.

If the Debtor fails to send in the amount agreed by, the Creditor shall immediately demand the payment of the original amount owed by the Debtor. Madhushree Goenka also declares that he is authorized to act as an agent of the Creditor's company.

This agreement for debt settlement shall be binding upon the Creditor, Debtor and their successors and assignees.

Dated:

Signature:


Madhushree Goenka, American Express
Creditor

Signature:


ME
Debtor


What do you all think?